Free Norman

Moving on at last....

2010-09-05T11:19:00.000-07:00

The time has come, Norman, said, that now you are all grown gnomes and have reached maturity you need to strike out for independence and move on to pastures new.

So with many a tear, Nathn, Nora, Nicholas and all the gallant crew have finally left Norman at home on his own.....

Condoloncies and good luck wishes are in order.

Norman offers support for Seaford comrades

2007-04-26T00:37:00.000-07:00

Having heard about the sad and disturbing events in Seaford(see below), Norman and his friends are offering counselling and the offer of a safe garden to their unfortunate comrades who have been somewhat traumatised by their ordeal.
More news on this later.

"Disfigured gnomes were not stolen", police say

2007-04-26T00:35:00.000-07:00

Police have confirmed that 26 gnomes strapped to lampposts in a busy shopping centre were not stolen.
The Argus reported last week how pranksters taped the gnomes to posts in Broad Street, Seaford, complete with cryptic messages.
Officers initially thought they had been stolen from a garden centre but have since said they believe they were bought by teenagers.

Seaford police sergeant David Kemp said: "We have established that the little fellows were bought by some high spirited youngsters who disfigured them with some rather gruesome messages before attaching them to posts around the town.
"We are attempting to re-gnome them in the hope that they will recover from their ordeal and strike a more traditional pose with fishing rods, ponds and flowers."

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-20T10:37:00.000-08:00

Norman and his mates wish all his viewers and followers a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Protest march planned by gnomes.

2006-09-09T09:01:00.000-07:00

A protest march has been organised becuase of the arrest threat announced today over a police gnome. Gnomes are being asked to gather in Treovis for a rave over next weekend. Free toadstools will be available.

The gnome was bought to deter thieves says Gordon MacKillop. Police have taken a dim view of a man's glowing garden gnome and threatened him with arrest unless he removes it.
The solar-powered policeman figure stands sentinel in the garden of Gordon MacKillop's home in Treovis, near Liskeard.
His neighbour, former policeman John McLean, says the gnome is annoying and upsets buyers viewing his home.
Now police have served Mr MacKillop with a notice for "placing a garden gnome with intent to cause harassment".
Mr MacKillop, 46, was woken in the night by two officers who warned him that the gnome was offensive to his neighbours.
The notice, under the Protection From Harassment Act 1997, also accuses Mr MacKillop of intimidating potential buyers of Mr McLean's £209,000 cottage.
Mr McLean has told officers that the garden gnome, which comes complete with police dog and solar light, was in an "annoying position".
I'm not having the police telling me what type of garden gnome I can have in my garden
Gordon MacKillopMr MacKillop denied having harassed house-hunters viewing his neighbour's property.
Mr MacKillop said he bought the gnome to deter criminals, after his motorcycle was stolen from his drive.
"It just happened that it had a police uniform on," he said.
"I'm not having the police telling me what type of garden gnome I can have in my garden.
"This is a standard gnome I bought from a retail store. If they are considered to be harassing they should be withdrawn from sale."
A Devon and Cornwall Police spokeswoman said: "This isn't just a petty issue. This has been ongoing for two or three years."
Mr McLean was unavailable for comment.

An Amazing Incident......

2006-07-02T12:50:00.000-07:00

......occurred on the 30th June 2006 when Nicholas arrived to join the merry troop.
He is most welcome and many thanks to the unknown benefactor. We are privileged to have access to this breaking news photo of Norman initiating Nicholas with his little watering can. Bless.

Where is Nathan?

2006-06-06T13:24:00.000-07:00

There are rumours that Nathan has returned from walkabout to a neighbouring garden. We are hoping that he will be able to venture back in time and recount some of his adventures here on the site.
WELCOME HOME NATHAN!

Norris and Nora discuss Ned's demise

2006-06-01T10:54:00.000-07:00

Obituary.
Ned met an untimely death at the age of 148 (gnome years) in a fatal fall on the 24th May 2006 which will now be known as ' Nedday'. He broke everything in his body apart from his head. He suffered no pain as far as is possible to ascertain.
Ned was a colourful character, always smiling and looking down to his little basket that he carried with him wherever he went. He was well loved by 54, 37, 39, especially 62, and many more besides. Apologies if I have left any numbers out. He will be sorely missed.
A 5 day wake will be held in his memory- date to be announced.

2006-05-17T08:21:00.001-07:00

News received from Free The Gnomes action Group:-

FreeTheGnomes.com provides Garden Gnome Liberation information and calls to action.We advocate an end to oppressive gardening and freedom for garden gnomes everywhere.
Embargoes violated

Original German garden gnomes traffickers enjoy impunity as all UN Gnome trafficking embargoes in the last decade “systematically violated”Report from the FreetheGnomesUN gnome trafficking embargoes are systematically violated and must be urgently strengthened if they are to stop German gardeners fuelling original German garden gnomes rights abuses, according to a report being presented to the UN Security Council. Read more at http://www.freethegnomes.com

2005-08-16T01:54:00.000-07:00

Nobby, the Gnome sniffing hound, goes to Norman's rescue..................

Plans are afoot..............

2005-07-31T13:58:00.000-07:00

Norris, Ned, Neil, Nelson, Neville and Nora have joined Norman and are now a very happy band. They have heard rumours of a street party in September and will be working on a cunning and secret game with a day out with Big Ears for 'The Winner'

2005-05-29T00:25:00.000-07:00

MISSING BELIEVED ABDUCTED!

Gnomenapped!

2005-05-29T00:06:00.000-07:00

Neil is sorely missed..........sob, sob. He and his mates were left out one night and in the morning he had gone. The only explanations are that he has gone wandering or that he has been abducted. If the latter this is a plea for his captor(s) to return him unharmed as the others are distraught AND a reward is offered.

Safe Return!

2005-04-16T05:46:00.000-07:00

Norris and Noggin have returned safely! After several adventures and a visit to a tattoo artist they have changed their names to Neville and Nelson..........They hope they will not now get bullied at gnome school.

Missing!

2005-04-12T14:27:00.000-07:00

Norman's new friends, Norris and Noggin have gone walkabouts and have not been seen for over 2 weeks!
Anyone spotting them, please get in touch with Norman. He is, however, not too distressed at not being in a threesome as he now has his own female gnomefriend. Although he is apparently complaining of a bad back after some careless thrashing around with his watering can.

2005-03-20T23:54:00.000-08:00

Norman, Norris and Noggin enjoying the spring sunshine

Norman emerges from hibernation

2005-03-20T13:24:00.000-08:00

After a long hibernation Norman emerges into the spring sunshine to find that he's now a part of a threesome with friends Norris and Noggin. Good news for the FREE NORMAN CAMPAIGN, he is at present unshackled but according to a secret informant there are rumours that he plans to elope with said 'friends' and go wandering around a certain avenue in Brighton like an adolescent, assuming that he can do what he likes, when he likes. If he is found out no doubt he will be grounded, privileges removed and chained again for his own protection. POst your comments NOW.

2005-01-02T05:58:00.000-08:00

Pat drops by to welcome in the New Year.

Norman makes Santa's cheeks glow!

2004-12-05T15:24:00.000-08:00

Caught in the act. This merry pair were captured on CCTV last night. Norman has since been questioned by 'The Authorities' as to what he's been up to and whether he is really a Bi gnome.
Norman admits he has been getting up to tricks such as this although supposedly hibernating until Spring.
Personally I think Santa has to take some responsibility too. Why has he got such red cheeks?
The best caption posted here will win an evening out with Norman.

Hot Air

2004-11-15T15:07:00.000-08:00

Since he has been in hibernation for the last month Norman has been reflecting on the injustices in the world besides his own hardships which pale into insignificance compared to Darfur, a threatened stoning of a 13 year old girl in Iran and the murder of thousands of innocent Iraquis by American and British forces.
If he had a fishing rod he would wreck untold damage on the perpetrators of such crimes by casting gnats into their brains where they would multiply hyperbolically and interminably.
"Increasingly both Europe and America are coming to realise that lasting security against fanatics and terrorists cannot be provided by conventional military force but requires a commitment to democracy, freedom and justice" (Tony Blair 15 nov 2004) Norman says this is BOLLOCKS and HOT AIR. (See the Hindenburg Disaster)
Norman will continue his sojurn but may be enticed out of his penance by finding True Love.......

Breaking News

2004-10-16T14:22:00.000-07:00

Norman has just received this exciting 'normail' from a corresopndent Up North citing tales of Another Norman.
I quote 'When Norman of Grimsby went missing many years ago his "owner" was frustrated beyond belief as he really wasn't 100% sure who has "sprung" Norm from beside the garden pond. And of course, all those involved (there were 5 of us plus many many "helpers") denied any involvement and were very convincing liars!

Norm was on the run for quite some time and sent postcards to his frustrated owner from all over the world. He even telephoned home on Christmas day to apologise for not being able to make it for Christmas Dinner.

I'm worried to see that your Norman has decided to hibernate though. I believe this could be a cunning plan. Please watch him very VERY carefully. He may use this as an excuse to slip away un-noticed. You may not even notice he's gone until spring...'

Norman has been quite hyper since receiving this news and I have had to sedate him with a log fire and promises of a Hardy Reel if he's good and doesn't abscond up North.

Do you think he needs chaining again or am I being paranoid that he might get out of control?

2004-10-16T14:20:00.000-07:00

Norman supervises the burning of his last foes and enemies before bedding down for the winter.

Hibernation

2004-10-15T01:05:00.000-07:00

Norman has now gone into hibernation for the winter period. He has found the media attention quite overwhelming and wishes to hide under a mushroom, reading a good book. Suggestions welcome......

2004-10-05T15:15:00.000-07:00

The Free Norman Society enlists Red to free Norman in the dead of night so that he can go on holiday.

2004-10-05T11:22:00.000-07:00

Norman starts therapy to help resolve deep psychic wounds and an inactive right hand.

Holiday mood

2004-10-05T11:03:00.000-07:00

Norman is feeling a bit fed up with watching the world go past in a linear fashion. He would like to be taken on holiday, ideally by a female gnome or elf (he has inclinations with or without fishing rod) and NOT to Gnomansland! He would prefer sunnier climes where he can take off his jacket, having worn it continuously for several years.
Advice as to suitable destinations would be gratefully appreciated. He has even asked me (Portnoo) to help him find a mate and has heard about internet dating. I said I would ask around and perhaps post a profile- no emotional baggage of course, fishing rods excepted.

2004-10-01T01:10:00.000-07:00

Norman considers what to do with his watering can.

2004-10-01T01:05:00.000-07:00

Witness to a dastardly theft on the night of the 26th September, Norman hires guards to protect his lands

2004-09-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

standing on top of the world, which side shall I eat?

2004-09-26T12:11:00.000-07:00

Norman has a wonderful time at Toytown, fly agaric followed by a good spring! He says 'Be happy now, live in the moment'

Noddy invites Norman to Toytown!

2004-09-24T01:09:00.000-07:00

Breaking News. Noddy (who is now rich and famous as a property developer) has invited Norman to Toytown for a weekend break and the authorities have agreed with strict conditions regarding access to Big Ears and bail to the sum of £50,000. We will bring you news of this visit as soon as we can. Clearly this is great news for the Free Norman Society!
A special correspondent

2004-09-22T15:55:00.000-07:00

Poor Norman in Captivity

2004-09-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

A rare glimpse of Norman from behind

Free Norman Society

2004-09-22T01:08:00.000-07:00

We, the undersigned, believe that it is wrong and inhumane to keep Norman captive in chains, even though it may be argued that it is for his own good, and keeps him from falling into the wrong hands. His incarceration contravenes the human rights act under
Article 4: Prohibition of slavery and forced labour
Article 5: Right to liberty and security
Article 6: Right to a fair trial
Article 12: Right to marry

We demand that Norman be allowed to live a life equal to those of his fellow gnomes and ask on the GOVERNMENT to act to pass a law regarding the PROTECTION of GNOMES.
Please add your comments to work towards Norman's release.

Norma,
Simon Reavy,
Willie Clancy,