Breaking News

Norman has just received this exciting 'normail' from a corresopndent Up North citing tales of Another Norman.
I quote 'When Norman of Grimsby went missing many years ago his "owner" was frustrated beyond belief as he really wasn't 100% sure who has "sprung" Norm from beside the garden pond. And of course, all those involved (there were 5 of us plus many many "helpers") denied any involvement and were very convincing liars!

Norm was on the run for quite some time and sent postcards to his frustrated owner from all over the world. He even telephoned home on Christmas day to apologise for not being able to make it for Christmas Dinner.

I'm worried to see that your Norman has decided to hibernate though. I believe this could be a cunning plan. Please watch him very VERY carefully. He may use this as an excuse to slip away un-noticed. You may not even notice he's gone until spring...'

Norman has been quite hyper since receiving this news and I have had to sedate him with a log fire and promises of a Hardy Reel if he's good and doesn't abscond up North.

Do you think he needs chaining again or am I being paranoid that he might get out of control?

Norman supervises the burning of his last foes and enemies before bedding down for the winter. 

Hibernation

Norman has now gone into hibernation for the winter period. He has found the media attention quite overwhelming and wishes to hide under a mushroom, reading a good book. Suggestions welcome......

The Free Norman Society enlists Red to free Norman in the dead of night so that he can go on holiday. 

Norman starts therapy to help resolve deep psychic wounds and an inactive right hand. 

Holiday mood

Norman is feeling a bit fed up with watching the world go past in a linear fashion. He would like to be taken on holiday, ideally by a female gnome or elf (he has inclinations with or without fishing rod) and NOT to Gnomansland! He would prefer sunnier climes where he can take off his jacket, having worn it continuously for several years.
Advice as to suitable destinations would be gratefully appreciated. He has even asked me (Portnoo) to help him find a mate and has heard about internet dating. I said I would ask around and perhaps post a profile- no emotional baggage of course, fishing rods excepted.

Norman considers what to do with his watering can.  

Witness to a dastardly theft on the night of the 26th September, Norman hires guards to protect his lands